I met the woman who would become my wife when she was 20 and I was 34. That's not a healthy age gap according to that unofficial rule (whatever that mathematical formula is). We got married when she was 24. Long story short: we got divorced this past November (that was my first and last marriage) and so much of it had to do with her getting married too young (and then having a child too young before she'd had a chance to properly live and experience life).
Anyway, no regrets, we're both happy with the outcome. I've got no interest in meeting anyone else, I'm happy to be a single father, she's got a new boyfriend (she moved on quickly), I love my daughter and I can live vicariously through your stories!
I met my husband when we were both 39. And I am so grateful I had time to 1) become who I am, a full person, before this relationship and 2) stay out late, try everything, fall in and out love, explore fully -- because once we committed, we really committed. I love this piece and hope everyone in their 20's reads it and heeds your wise advice!
I don't agree with this premise, its knocking other women who make different choices to vaildate your own. There is a a lot to be said about how marriage should not be its own goal but there are trade offs among all things which this perspective doesn't want to consider.
I agree with so much of this, but my issue is that I want to have a few kids and I don’t want to start having them until I’ve been with my partner for quite a while. Biology really puts the pressure on to meet somebody earlier rather than later, despite this being less than ideal
Hey Ella. Not sure if this helps, but I know couple of women around the ages of 38-41 who all had children at that age and were perfectly fine with it. It's def possible. The clock isn't ticking THAT loud. It's patriarchy who said you HAVE to press out 3 children by the age of 30. Even I at 33 have plenty of time, I don't feel any pressure. I can postpone for at least 5 more years.
As someone who has had terrible relationship track record in early 20s, this was refreshing to read, thank you
Oops. Wish I'd had this advice like 15 years ago!
I met the woman who would become my wife when she was 20 and I was 34. That's not a healthy age gap according to that unofficial rule (whatever that mathematical formula is). We got married when she was 24. Long story short: we got divorced this past November (that was my first and last marriage) and so much of it had to do with her getting married too young (and then having a child too young before she'd had a chance to properly live and experience life).
Anyway, no regrets, we're both happy with the outcome. I've got no interest in meeting anyone else, I'm happy to be a single father, she's got a new boyfriend (she moved on quickly), I love my daughter and I can live vicariously through your stories!
I met my husband when we were both 39. And I am so grateful I had time to 1) become who I am, a full person, before this relationship and 2) stay out late, try everything, fall in and out love, explore fully -- because once we committed, we really committed. I love this piece and hope everyone in their 20's reads it and heeds your wise advice!
I love that!
Thankuuuu
period
Beste
I don't agree with this premise, its knocking other women who make different choices to vaildate your own. There is a a lot to be said about how marriage should not be its own goal but there are trade offs among all things which this perspective doesn't want to consider.
Okay you obv didnt get the point at all lol
But i want to date older man
that’s rather unfortunate :D
I agree with so much of this, but my issue is that I want to have a few kids and I don’t want to start having them until I’ve been with my partner for quite a while. Biology really puts the pressure on to meet somebody earlier rather than later, despite this being less than ideal
Hey Ella. Not sure if this helps, but I know couple of women around the ages of 38-41 who all had children at that age and were perfectly fine with it. It's def possible. The clock isn't ticking THAT loud. It's patriarchy who said you HAVE to press out 3 children by the age of 30. Even I at 33 have plenty of time, I don't feel any pressure. I can postpone for at least 5 more years.
This took a lot of pressure - a 26yo in a relationship.
uh, in what sense?? you can DM me as well :)
thank you. This told me to calm the hell down lolol
i got happily married at 21! 🥰 there’s no timeline, it happens when it happens!
of course, i married a woman. so that helps a lot. 😂 dating men sounds horrendous.
Thank YOU for posting this <3 rly needed to hear it today
brb spamming this at my friends every time they have a dating existential crisis
I love being the old person now.