omg poly soft boi is relatable...i am ALWAYS distrustful once I hear how men talk about their women partners...RARELY taking ownership of any of their behavior..as if women are out here reacting to air...lol
That was a great read, and I’ve definitely seen this behaviour time and again. I remember someone referring to all five of their last partners as “crazy.” If all your relationships follow the same pattern, chances are you’re the common denominator.
Like you, I can’t stand when people make armchair diagnoses and weaponise them to avoid taking responsibility. In 2024, it seems everyone is labelled a narcissist the moment they set boundaries and stand by them. I’ve noticed this behaviour across the entire spectrum of genders though.
Ultimately, it’s on us to make the right choices and cut ties with such people. I’ve done that many times, and my life has been so much better since I started surrounding myself with kind people who’ve done the work (and therapy) and distanced myself from the rest.
Loved this part: "there’s a huge difference between transparency and accountability"
Speaking for myself, I've noticed my shortcomings in romantic relationships are also shortcomings in other areas of my life. They just show up differently
I also think some friends are sometimes hard to evaluate because we mostly see them in fun, relaxed, or casual settings as opposed to in a situation where their character is being tested.
I guess if the person is someone you can trust to take care of you when you aren't your best, are they a friend? I have many female friends, and I give each one special attention and care. I listen, comfort, console, care for, and whatever else they need. Each one is like family, a long line of sisters or cousins that I would do anything for to help, which I have when it was asked of me. It can't be easy having a male friend. It brings me back to "When Harry Met Sally," where they ask if men and women can truly be friends. I have lived with my best friend for over 30 years with her and her husband. I'm the brother that never married. LoL, the number of true, trusting male friends you will have, you will count on one hand, not counting your thumb. They are rare. Hard to find and keep. At work, I am the big brother, uncle, cousin, dad, or, in one case, gramps. LoL I might be different than most and look at it as if they trust me, I owe them all the respect, and faith they pu into me back. Unfortunately, it is harder and harder these days to find that kind. It takes time. Many of my female friends are at least a few years to well over 10 years in length. I do get your frustration over it, and I'm sorry you had the dumb crowd. It was a good article, and it made me think. How to be even better to my friends.
omg poly soft boi is relatable...i am ALWAYS distrustful once I hear how men talk about their women partners...RARELY taking ownership of any of their behavior..as if women are out here reacting to air...lol
Yeah right? Thanks for your Engagement here i loved reading it
That was a great read, and I’ve definitely seen this behaviour time and again. I remember someone referring to all five of their last partners as “crazy.” If all your relationships follow the same pattern, chances are you’re the common denominator.
Like you, I can’t stand when people make armchair diagnoses and weaponise them to avoid taking responsibility. In 2024, it seems everyone is labelled a narcissist the moment they set boundaries and stand by them. I’ve noticed this behaviour across the entire spectrum of genders though.
Ultimately, it’s on us to make the right choices and cut ties with such people. I’ve done that many times, and my life has been so much better since I started surrounding myself with kind people who’ve done the work (and therapy) and distanced myself from the rest.
Thanks for sharing!
" I’ve done that many times, and my life has been so much better since I started surrounding myself with kind people who’ve done the work". THIS.
Change is possible, but we have to take responsibility as well.
Loved this part: "there’s a huge difference between transparency and accountability"
Speaking for myself, I've noticed my shortcomings in romantic relationships are also shortcomings in other areas of my life. They just show up differently
I also think some friends are sometimes hard to evaluate because we mostly see them in fun, relaxed, or casual settings as opposed to in a situation where their character is being tested.
I guess if the person is someone you can trust to take care of you when you aren't your best, are they a friend? I have many female friends, and I give each one special attention and care. I listen, comfort, console, care for, and whatever else they need. Each one is like family, a long line of sisters or cousins that I would do anything for to help, which I have when it was asked of me. It can't be easy having a male friend. It brings me back to "When Harry Met Sally," where they ask if men and women can truly be friends. I have lived with my best friend for over 30 years with her and her husband. I'm the brother that never married. LoL, the number of true, trusting male friends you will have, you will count on one hand, not counting your thumb. They are rare. Hard to find and keep. At work, I am the big brother, uncle, cousin, dad, or, in one case, gramps. LoL I might be different than most and look at it as if they trust me, I owe them all the respect, and faith they pu into me back. Unfortunately, it is harder and harder these days to find that kind. It takes time. Many of my female friends are at least a few years to well over 10 years in length. I do get your frustration over it, and I'm sorry you had the dumb crowd. It was a good article, and it made me think. How to be even better to my friends.
Hopefully those dudes will realize you were never their real friend.