the double standard of “dating down” for women

After years of desperately avoiding working-class men, I realized my thinking was flawed. “Dating Down” is nothing but a messed-up, classist concept.

You’ve likely heard the story of the desperately single female academic who can’t find a suitable male counterpart. It’s a familiar narrative: a highly educated, successful woman faces a series of disappointing relationships. Despite her achievements, she struggles to connect with partners who meet her intellectual standards.

Who wants to be that woman?
No one. It’s clearly her fault she’s not with a proper guy yet.
Dating down though? Uah, how could she?

This notion—that dating someone with less education or a different socio-economic background is somehow inferior—perpetuates deeply classist biases. Yet, I used to be one of those women who exclusively dated college-educated men, for very personal reasons. I am not alone in this. Let’s unpack the underlying issues together!