I am allowed to do everything and he is allowed to do nothing

The only way I can see a heterosexual relationship work out for me, is when I am allowed to do everything (use dating apps, go on dates, fuck strangers) and he is allowed to do nothing.

The only way I can see a heterosexual relationship work out for me, is when I am allowed to do everything (use dating apps, go on dates, fuck strangers) and he is allowed to do nothing. It’s a fair equation. Women have been lied to, cheated on, beaten down by the horrendous behavior of fragile men for centuries, mostly without consequences and I am going to change that.

Both my grandmothers have been lied to, cheated on, beaten down. So has this woman who wrote me on Instagram a couple of weeks ago. And the other women I got in touch with. And the other one. And the other one. And the writer I follow on substack secretly, because we are not friends anymore. Still, I can read about the things men have done to her publicly. Nothing has changed since she left the city.

Women remain loyal and generous, even post-betrayal. Often, without further noticing. Women cultivate a certain kind of magic around the guy they’ve just thrown out of their apartments, transforming them into the protagonist of their narratives. He becomes the main character. They write novels and essays about how badly they got hurt, why they were chasing already taken men and cheaters in the first place, trying to make sense of the disasters of their so-called love life’s. They write about their fixation upon the "other women", stalk her, try to guess why he’s more into her, then into them. It’s pathetic. The self-deprecation doesn’t help any of us. And it has to stop.

I wonder why there’s so little literature about how to take back one’s own pride. How the things, that have happened, changed one’s perception of heterosexuality, monogamy and love for the better. Unwritten are the accounts of personal transformation following experiences that have invariably shifted the values we once agreed upon.

Do we really never learn?

Are we just about to go out again to meet stupid men not paying for our drinks and then complain?

I refuse. The only way I can see a heterosexual relationship work out for me in the future, is when I am allowed to do everything (use dating apps, go on dates, fuck strangers) and he is allowed to do nothing.

Luckily, I found someone who is joining me on my journey.