hipsters with small dicks

I have a tendency to meet guys with small dicks and I don’t know why.

Lately I realized I often find myself sipping wine with 30-year-old douchebags, with or without a mustache, who later turn out to have a small penis. There is no comparison for the disappointment that spreads throughout my body when I reach into his trousers and feel: nothing.

I can only speak from experience, but after 17 years of dating, I have definitely gathered some anecdotal evidence. In the past, guys who dressed "the best" according to softboy indie standards usually were the ones with the smallest dicks.

They also tended to have the “loudest” personalities, but not in a good way, more in a stand-up-comedian failing at his own worst joke kinda way.

It's as if their small penises led them to develop some sort of narcissistic personality disorder, resulting in dark humor, depression, suicide jokes, nagging, and gaslighting as a way to compensate for their not-enoughness.

Let me elaborate. Imagine being a guy with a small penis, aware that the woman you're talking to at a bar will soon “find out”. What do you do to keep her interested? Being friendly might not be enough, as there are plenty of nice guys with larger penises out there who can provide exactly what you can, just with better dick. So, obviously they need a strategy to date successfully, and that’s why they turn into little manipulative models, trying to love-bomb you, professing love too early, or engaging in other narcissistic tactics to entrap you emotionally.